Lesson 44. If you have to stay up 'til 2am studying, do it with a friend.

The title says it all. Excuse the short post, exhaustion has once again got the better of me. Thursday nights seem to be my weak point on late night happenings. If you have to stay up 'til 2am studying, do it with a friend.

Lesson 43. Set at least two alarms. Be grateful for the ones who love you at your worst.

You know that bad dream you have the night before a big day?
The one where you wake up 15 minutes before you're supposed to be at there. You're in your pajamas and you almost run down the street. The one where all logic is tackled to the ground and disposed of promptly by his nemesis panic. You pull a stunned possum and forget your name and which foot goes first. Today, that dream became a reality. I woke up 15 minutes before a 30% test. Luckily my super great flatmate was home and helped me/took our friendship to the next level by getting me dressed and suggesting deodorant. Make-up less with a pencil, a swipe card, and a tiny shred of dignity still intact I galloped my way down Symonds street. I arrived just in time for my test, I sat down and I did it. I was flustered, a little bit sweaty, and a little bit teary but nonetheless completed my test.

You're wondering where I'm going with this aren't you. Well, we're going two places. First stop is where I become your mother. I've asked you to stay at the dinner table after we've just finished a hearty plate of spag-bol so that I can have a talk with you. You're twiddling your thumbs and because I'm your mother I know the crease in your brow tells of worry, I assure you I'm not about to tell you off. I've just decided it's time to pass on a pearl of wisdom. I reach over, squeeze your hand and I say "Don't make the same mistake I did, set at least two alarms." And now you breathe a sigh of relief. You give my hand a firm press and nod "Always Mum."

Good. I'm glad we had that chat.

Second place is a little more simple and doesn't involve anything remotely familial- at least between you and I. I think we often take for granted the people in our lives who are willing to step in at our worst. The bedroom that you can run into with your polkadot nana nightie with the fluffy sheep on the front in a mad panic and the inhabitant knows exactly how to deal with the situation. The boy who hears you hurt and tells you you are of worth until you start believing it. The sister who will stay in your bed 'til the tears lull you to the land of sleep. Appreciate them, they are the ones who know you and love you not just in spite of your flaws but through them.

Good. I'm glad we had that chat.

Moral of today's story: Set at least two alarms. Be grateful for the ones who love you at your worst.

Lesson 42. Yes you can. You just did.

I've been cramming and craving and slightly crazy. Inspiration seemed to escape me today, the day itself has been full of here's and there's and lists and un-ticked boxes. Unfortunately none of these tickled my fancy and my thought process has been rather bland.

I was discussing this with my flatmate about 5 minutes ago. This just was after we'd put on the Greys Anatomy soundtrack and she sat on my bed while I read out some blogs in my best Meredith voice. (It's fun, try it.) Anyway, I was prying for a key phrase to base tonight's blog on. I begged dear sweet Lou for some inspiration and she simply replied "I can't do it."

It's an automatic response. When pressure is applied, the barriers come up and any faith goes down. We somehow suddenly lose any previous knowledge of the said topic and retreat to our shells of self doubt. I experienced this today in a test, although I'd studied and knew all the answers, I fumbled and I fell. I have another big test tomorrow and I've decided to come at it from a different angle. I've decided to say that I can. I can do it, I know it and I've learnt it and I have what I need to get it done. We need to retrain our automatic response to being one of confidence and assurance in our giftings and abilities. How much further would we get if we exchanged I can't's for I can's?

You are capable Negative Nigel, be Positive Paul. You can do it. Take a deep breath before your response and recall what you've invested time into. You will be strides ahead of sad lonely Nige if you simply believe that you have the strength to press forwards it. I know you can. I know my slightly batty but still very beautiful flatmate Lou will be reading this about now- well, in response to your earlier statement:

Yes you can. You just did.

Lesson 41. Try to see the good in someone suspecting you of terrorism.

I dragged my tired, tuckered-out tootsies onto the bus today and stood way too close to numerous strangers. Some of you may find this an enjoyable experience, I suggest you see someone about this and I inform you that I most certainly did not. When a seat freed up I leapt at the opportunity to rest if only for a few minutes. I positioned my guitar in a way that would not bother anyone and took my seat beside a fairly normal looking elderly man. Oh how wrong I was.

"You could be a terrorist! You could have a gun in that case! Is that a gun?"

My new bus buddy was not at all hesitant to speak in a very loud voice and declare his suspicions about terrorist activity taking place next to him in the form of a 18 year old middle-class female. He succeeded in gaining the attention of the majority of the vehicle and seemed satisfied with my awkward mumbled explanation of how it was just a guitar. He muttered a few things to himself and then his shifty eyes followed the sidewalk instead of my movements. I breathed a sigh of relief and then realised that I was still sitting on a bus that 90% of passengers were suspicious that I was in fact the next Osama Bin Laden. At least this anecdote provides comic relief for you and potentially me at a later date. Anyway, because I wanted to share this peculiar happening with you, I was forced to find the good in a somewhat odd situation. 

What were my findings? Well for starters, it made an excellent facebook status. Just joking. (But not really, who doesn't love a successful facebook status?) However, it did teach me a few things about life. 

1. Some people still have safety at heart. I know, accusations of terrorism is potentially the worst way to portray the interest you have in the safety of the people around you, but nonetheless, it is a way. My friend was aware of the people around him and was willing to speak up for them. The world is a slightly brighter place when someone is willing to put themselves on the line for the sake of your safety.

2. The embarrassing things occasionally work out for the better. Because everyone thought I might take them out with my 13kg guitar case/bomb, no one spoke to me the whole way home. This meant that after my exhausting 8-5 day, I could sit on the bus in peace.

See, there are good things on every bus if we only look for them. I hope this journey you and I have been on is starting to open your eyes to the beauty in everyday and the opportunities to learn, I know it's constantly opening mine. When something embarrassing or startling happens, consider it a challenge. Try your hardest to find the good in it, I promise it's hiding in there somewhere. It might be hiding behind the baffled looks of other passengers, but I promise it's in there. Try to see the good in someone suspecting you of terrorism.  

Lesson 40. Pre-order on iTunes.

It's been a long day. It's 11.30pm and I've just arrived home from University. It's also a Sunday. I'm a little cranky and a lot sleepy.

My cranky has been diminished greatly by the discovery of a delectable wee musical ditty that I had pre-ordered and disregarded. My head hit the keyboard in great frustration this evening to be met by the light of my screen and the sweet love of John Mayer. The download began. As did the first date-esque feelings: numerous heart palpitations, sweaty palms, woozy mind, fluttering eyelashes. My expectations were more than met by John donning a cowboy hat and working a harmonica. I do love me a man with an accent and a hankerin' for some line dancing. It was a similar discovery to the $10 dollars in your back pocket you forgot about last week, and it was a sweet startle to my somewhat stressful evening.

Do yourself a favour and pre-order, surprise yourself or someone else. There's nothing better than a  'just because' few words or few things or few songs. Maybe you should choose a random pair of pants and put some money in it simply because it will seriously raise your cloudy mood next time you're wearing them. Maybe you should leave a post-it note for a friend letting them know they're celebrated. Maybe you should pre-order on iTunes.

Lesson 39. Company makes the load lighter.

You are tired? Rest your head on the shoulder of a friend.
You can't think straight? Throw a few thoughts out and let a loved one catch them.
You have a lot to do? Do it beside someone who makes your heart happy.

Knuckle down, work hard. Talk about it, talk through it- you will get there. When given the choice between tears and laughter choose the latter. Squeeze the hand of the hope that you hold. Company makes the load lighter.

Lesson 38. Have a night off and in.

I write this post with blurred eyes and slurred speech because weariness has taken it's toll.

On one side I have my friend chocolate and on the other side I have her sweetheart, hot chocolate.

On my bed awaits a sweet Snoosan, my exceptionally handsome main squeeze.

Beside Snoosan snuggles my warmth for the winter, my hot water bottle with the cover that my mother knitted.

Pillow awaits the fall of my head, blankets pull me towards bed.

My eyes are slightly puffy and sleep is employing his charms. My heart is at rest and my mind is at peace. There is chaos outside but it does not belong with me. I am at ease, ready to bid goodnight to the wild world. What a glorious way to spend a Friday evening after a hectic fortnight. Have a night off and in.

Goodnight wild world.