Lesson 174. Be nice to a sales assistant.

I made a muddle of the till. I entered the wrong figures into the wrong columns, printed off the wrong receipt and sent all of my very very wrong information to head office. I made a right mess, and it was all before nine am.

Needless to say I was panicked, I got all clammy and my head suddenly felt as though it was several kilograms lighter and I had to sit down for a second.

I regathered, I told myself "You are calm, confident and serene" in the words of my high school speech and drama teacher, Kate Kelway (We'll save her for another story, she was perhaps the classiest woman I've ever come across) and I carried on.

An hour passed, no customers, just Lydia and the store. No one to chat to, and no one to sell to. I'd botched up the morning's activities and I was without sales, I was ready to have a wee weep in the back room and I hadn't even reached midday.

Finally, two customers walked in. Relieved at the sight of someone with shopping to be done and something in mind, I talked my way through to the till where I put through the perfect gift for her mentor. She wasn't standoffish or rude the way some customers get around Christmas, she was chatty and appreciated the fact that I was genuinely interested in what she did, so she asked me what I did. I told her, we discussed a mutual love for Westlife amongst other things and when she had to go she thanked me with great warmth and told me she'd be back.

She made my day. Just by being willing to chat, just by being a Westlife fan, just by thanking me for putting in effort. From there on, I was on my way up. I was in a brilliant mood and dealt with other customers much better than I would've had she not come my way. It didn't take much but she really changed the course of my shift.

Be nice to a sales assistant. It doesn't take a lot to talk a little but it makes a world of difference. You never know- you might turn someone's day around. Be nice to a sales assistant.

Lesson 173. Apply grace and wait.

The lights were crimson and so I sat. The lights turned emerald and so I sat.

That doesn't sound correct does it? Well that's because it wasn't. The car two cars in front was obviously unaware of the light change and neglected to bring their foot off the brake. This meant I had to wait for the next turn of events, but to be honest I didn't mind.

I basked in the moment that was. I was sitting in a few cars deep traffic and nobody honked, yelled or made any sort of angry advance towards the driver, they just sat and waited patiently for the mistake to be corrected- which it was within the next few minutes. It's a rare and precious moment when we can simply wait. Wait and trust that the time is coming, wait and accept that sometimes people make mistakes, wait with patience for them to wake up behind the wheel. It's a rare and precious moment because it exemplifies grace, an undeserved mercy or gift that is seemingly less and less common in our cut throat society. I kind of wanted to get out of my car and hug every person in front of me because of they proved to me that even though it's a rarity it's still in existence. We don't all get road ragin' at the drop of a hat or miss of a light. We don't all tell someone to hit the road because of one little mistake. It's when we are able to accept a mistake and trust that soon we will move forward that we actually will move forward. That's when we move forward without anger, bitterness or regret. Without a mood or an attitude to carry to the next stage, we move forward with a new understanding of one another and a renewed appreciation for the human race. That's when we trust ourselves and those around us.

I want to live in a world where grace is an everyday occurrence. I want to see people dismissing road rage and resisting to sweat the small stuff. I'm not saying I think crime should come without punishment, I'm simply saying that if grace were exercised we'd live alongside one another in relationships that weren't full of angry words and harbored hatred. Maybe I'm alone, but I challenge you the next time someone is sitting at the lights, wait. You'll feel better for it. Apply grace and wait. 

Lesson 172. Don't let go of your Africa.

My heart's started stirring again, this means trouble. It keeps plying my head with memories of moments that within I felt more alive than ever before. The time I fell in love with a continent and walked away a woman never the same.

Africa. Kenya was first, I suspect Uganda will be second, but it'll always be Africa. The way it smells straight after rain pelts the red soil, the way it sounds on a Sunday morning, the way it feels to hold a child and know that you're capable of changing their world by purely being present.

I'll never forget dancing in a classroom with fifty children in the middle of a thunderstorm. I'll never forget the way that their voices drowned out the claps of the clouds or the hard hitting water on the tin roof. I'll never forget the way their smiles consumed their whole beings, or the joy that radiated from those who had so little but loved so much.

My heart's started stirring again. It's the part where the names of the children who changed it are engraved: Victor, Nifa, Adelaide, Wilson, Blessing. It's been two years and I've never really let go, I'm still figuring out where it fits, but it's safe to say it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

Dont stop your heart from stirring. Hold on to the dreams that live within it and trust that when the time is right they'll be before your eyes. Don't let go of your Africa.

Lesson 171. Talk to someone in a lonely moment.

It's getting on, and although I've been in bed for two hours I still can't sleep. My best friend right now is Shania Twain's biography and I'm currently googling if it's good to sleep with a deep conditioning treatment in or not, clearly my life is thrilling (maybe if I got out more I'd actually be tired enough to sleep right?)

Okay so I haven't been in bed for a solid two hours. I actually just wandered downstairs to quench my thirst after reading up a storm of Shania's childhood. I then discovered that I was not the only one battling a mind all too awake for midnight on a Monday, sitting on the couch was my mother. She was knitting for Christmas, and she had a cup of tea. I poured myself a glass of juice and joined her.

We discussed and debriefed the details of our day. Even though the majority of it was spent together, it was nice just to have someone to talk tiny things. To talk tea cups and record players, to talk Christmas colours and dinner plans. To talk just to talk. 

She doesn't know that a simple conversation about nothing did me a world of good. She's asleep in the next room oblivious to the fact that I can rest easier because there was someone discuss what time I would be waking up in the morning and what I had to get done during daylight hours. Not because she said anything profound or particularly stirring, but because she was simply there to converse and communicate with in a lonely moment.

To be perfectly honest, the last few days have been lonely. I've been battling thoughts of being by myself and they seem to overtake all else at the most inappropriate of times. I thought tonight would be no different, I was wrong. A couch chat with my Mama at midnight was exactly what I needed.

Don't underestimate the power of pure communication. Trust me, it doesn't always take a pearl of wisdom or a discovery of great importance to change something for someone. Talk shop, talk anything. Talk to someone in a lonely moment. 

Lesson 170. Make your blunders beneficial.

I showed up to work today as usual. With 5 minutes to spare I wandered into the back room and placed my things down for the day, timed in on the computer and tied my apron strings neatly. I hit the shop floor with a bow in my hair and a smile on my face when a babe of a co-worker walked in.

I was surprised to see her because we're barely ever rostered on together and it seemed like a strange over staffing coincidence. I asked her if she was sure she was working and she replied confidently and went in search of evidence- to the rosters. She then emerged rather sheepish and mumbled "You aren't rostered on" My cheeks flushed crimson and I apologised profusely. I then went and sat down and tried to figure out where I went wrong. I just had it in my head and the idea had lead me so far astray that I'd planned my Friday around a 10-3 stint at work. I'd also brought my sister over, who wouldn't be finished work until around 3. I felt foolish to say the least.

Luckily, my trainee manager was a witness of my despair and made a few calls to ensure that my journey would not be in vain. I ended up working only an hour short of my made up time. Somehow, I managed to make a little extra money out of a less than impressive situation.

Now I'm not saying I'd do anything like that deliberately and I'll hopefully avoid any further incidents involving roster blunders but, I'm saying that there's a possibility to work out a way to make the clumsy beneficial. You can either choose to have a tanty and walk away before you can find a solution or you can sit a few short minutes until one is found. It's up to you. Make your blunders beneficial.

Lesson 169. Be thankful.

I'm no American. I don't have pumpkin pie and I don't talk about the pilgrims, I don't sit around the table holding hands with my family or eat 'til my belly is fit to burst. I do, however, celebrate thanksgiving. I celebrate thanksgiving here and now, you and I style, consider it a rather momentous occasion as it is our first thanksgiving as a unit.

I was supposed to have finished my blog by now- before life happened. Today was the goal finishing date, and we've got a way to go yet. But I remain thankful, because although I haven't achieved quite what I wanted yet, I have more time with you. I have more time to be challenged by each day and to write in such a way that maybe challenges you. I'm thankful that you're reading this, I'm thankful for you.

In case you haven't caught on, I'm about to list what I'm thankful for in the hope that you might do the same somewhere. Write it down, I dare you. Consolidate your list of loves and I promise your heart will catch a little happy too. Don't be afraid of feelings friend, they only bite when they're bitter and they only grow bitter when they're smothered by smirks and shoulder shrugs.

I'm thankful for the one who made me. For his persistence in an unrelenting pursuit of broken people, for his love and his grace. For his sacrifice.

I'm thankful for family. I am thankful for their arms and their hearts, for the way it feels like coming home with each hello. I'm thankful for those I'm blessed with not only through blood but through deep friendship. I'm thankful for another home through times of trial when my family felt far away. I'm thankful for my parents and their commitment to unswervingly loving one another and each child with the same incredible strength. I'm thankful for my big sisters and how I'll never cease to learn from them or laugh with them.

I'm thankful for friends. Especially this year. I'm thankful for new friends that made their way into my heart successfully and deeply. I'm thankful for the laughter, for the understanding of one another. I'm thankful for the way they've walked me through the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm thankful for friends who will sing Westlife and quote silly things and occasionally humiliate themselves in order to cheer me up. I'm thankful for old friends, dear friends, friends that although see distance don't see change in relationship. For those who drift in and out but remain as always a source of great friendship. I'm thankful for friendship and the way it reminds me of how blessed I am to enjoy such an excellent standard of human beings.

I'm thankful for music. For the way it changes people and things. I'm thankful that it allows me opportunities to be happy and sad and occasionally slightly psycho. I'm thankful that it runs through each stream of everyday life and that I'm blessed enough to study it. I'm thankful for the way it bonds total strangers.

I'm thankful for love of all sorts. I'm thankful for falling in love and feeling heartbreak. I'm thankful for the love of a friend and the love of a family. I'm thankful for the love of food.

Which brings me to this, oh how I am thankful for food. I am thankful for full bellies and their contents. I'm thankful for chocolate, my dear sweet love. I am thankful for cookies and movenpick.

I'm thankful for 2012. It's been absolute madness and I've had to do harder things than ever before. I'm thankful for the challenges and the trials for the way they show ability to grow and move forwards. For the way they give strength. I'm thankful for the people it's showed in and I'm thankful for the people it has sustained. I'm thankful that I have learnt that cookie dough and kisses on the forehead make the world a better place. I'm thankful that it has allowed me to figure myself out.

I'm thankful for home. And I'm thankful that I've realised how beautiful it is.

I'm thankful for Snoosan and his companionship. I'm thankful that he can't talk because I've told him an awful lot. I'm thankful that his little blankie attached to his hand doubles as a tear catcher.

I'm thankful for Singin' in the Rain. I'm thankful that Gene Kelly is a wonderful man and I'm thankful that he gives me hope that one day I'll make a man tap dance through various puddles.

I'm thankful for cuddles. For arms that hold on tighter and just long enough to know the presence of love. They're one of my favourite things in the world.

I'm thankful for underwear. Mostly just because they're not only necessary but also excellent when the right sort is selected.

I'm thankful for new life. For the reminder it is of how precious each second is and for how it makes my eyes get all foggy and my throat get all froggy. I'm thankful for the beauty of a baby and a brave mother.

I'm thankful for lake Rotoma. That it provides the most basic and beautiful hiding place. I'm thankful for the peace that it radiates and the happy memories that reside. I'm thankful for clothes that smell like campfires and ever so slightly sunburnt noses.

I'm thankful for everyday needs being met without thought. I'm thankful that I'm blessed enough to live each day with food in my stomach, a roof over my head and clean water on tap. I'm thankful to be a healthy eighteen year old.

I'm thankful for bed. I'm in bed right now so I suppose this is where my post ends, although it's only where my thanks begin. So I challenge you to try this too, it's this crazy thing called 'being thankful' and I've heard it's a pretty groundbreaking new trend. It might even do a little something for your perspective, go on, be thankful.

Lesson 168. Commit to your diet.

I literally just cried because I'm on a diet- not even a slight exaggeration required. I sat through a movie today and missed 3/4 of it purely because I could smell junk food. Oh how I miss the sweet caress of chocolate and the constant reassurance of carbs. 

However, I don't want to ditch the diet because I want to see results. It's killing me, but I want to see results. So here I sit, with a pang in the pit of my stomach because I know I just have to push through. 

I have to shut off my daydreams of belly meeting brownie. I have to smile, salad fork in hand, and stomach food that I always felt was meant for rabbits and people who had their picture taken every day. 

You gotta push through if you want to see the results. You have to keep on keeping on in order to get to your dream destination. Commit to your diet.