Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Oh, hello again.

T'would be correct to assume you've been sorely neglected. It's been almost a month since you and I engaged in our wondrous ramblings of life and her obscenities. To say that I'm sorry would be an understatement, I suppose I've been at a loss as to where to start. Now I've found the place.

The place is here, the task is starting over. Start starting over.

Let's just say in the last month, everything has changed. I've broken hearts, I say hearts because I somehow broke my own in the process. I've battled the heaviness in the pit of my stomach at the light of dawn, the tears that come at the most inappropriate of times (like when I'm watching infomercials or listening to rap music) and I've been searching for sanity amidst the pieces.

The place is here, the task is starting over. I'm starting to start over.

I'm getting out of bed, I'm getting dressed and today it won't include fat pants nor my oversized sweater. I'm deleting the sad playlists and I'm acknowledging that cookie dough is not a staple food item. I'm determined to be silly again, so determined that tonight I got into my swimsuit and pretended to go swimming on my flatmates floor, I'm determined to take life less seriously. I'm determined to see each day as an opportunity to be a part of change in a messy world and to live in a way that makes that statement ring true. I'm determined to trust, to love and to see life in all it's glory. My eyes have never been this open.

I've missed you dreadfully. Welcome back dear friend, take my hand and let's start over.

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