I write with a heart so full of love and brokenness it might cave right in and flood right out. I'll never forget the day a little blonde blue eyed sweetheart waltzed up to me in kindergarten and announced "I like your rainbow t-shirt." I'll never forget that day because it changed my life.
She had a laugh that caught like fire. She had a heart that loved without the shackles of judgment. And she fought with all the strength of every warrior that has ever been. Caitlin's heart pursued Jesus' relentlessly and her feet moved for him with such courage and gumption. I shared every heartbreak and every great joy I ever knew with my dear friend, and life ahead without her seems somewhat colourless. But I know that she'll be holding a heavenly paintbrush way up there to keep her loved ones their toes. Caitlin was incredibly creatively gifted, with an an artsy flair that was so trademark it stuck out like an extremely well manicured, breathtakingly beautiful sore thumb. I can't say enough about her heart for others, I can't feel enough about her loss, I can't pray enough for her precious family and the days we will face ahead. But I can't rejoice enough for her life, be grateful enough for her friendship, or feel blessed enough to have shared 15 years of life's roller-coaster with this precious daughter of Jesus. Every inch of me grieves and aches but every inch radiates with gratitude, because I knew her, because I loved her, because I was loved by her.
We used to tell people we were twins in primary school. When I complained about not having a car to drive my barbie family around in, she gave me her pale blue barbie family wagon. In year 8 when a boy was being mean to me, I cowered behind her as she told him to get lost, and through every stupid crush and heartache we shared shoulders and tears. We fought like sisters, although I always lost because she had a feisty streak and she never gave up.
She had a heart so set on service and she left the world in the midst of doing what she loved. She held the broken in her heart and set aside judgment for Jesus to deal with. She was happy, she was in a good place, and now she's happier, and in a better place. My best friend met Jesus this morning, my best friend went home.
Thank you for a lifetime full of love and laughter Caitlin Susannah Rose Dickson. Thank you for liking my rainbow shirt, I love you. I'm going to miss you madly 'til I meet you once more.