Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Lesson 182. Life is lived, life is loved, life is lost.

Life is lived, life is loved, life is lost.

And then come the details. The intricate inner workings of hearts and heads and souls that weave together a canvas of a someone. A someone who meant a something to so many, a someone who leaves a space when their time comes to return home. And we don't cry because we worry, because we're scared of where they've gone, no no, we simply cry because there is a space. There are gaps in every area that that someone existed within, there are conversations stilled by silence where joy would've once filled the air, there is an emptiness within your arms from where that person often rested, there is an empty seat in a special place beside you.

How? How do we keep moving? Does anybody really know? I don't think so. I don't think anybody can tell you how to stop the space from seeping into your skin and reaching right to your core to shake you once again. But I can tell you that I intend to wake up, get dressed, breathe, and then rinse and repeat. We allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel and we cling to one another in the times of heartache, but we ultimately trust our God enough to be able to go forwards, not to move on, but to simply move towards acceptance and hope.

I'm not worried about my friends in heaven, I know they'll be swinging off gold plated streetlights and feeling the warmth of abounding love on their face as they stand before Jesus. I'm admittedly afraid for me and my friends to face a life without them, but there is no doubt or fear in my mind about where they are or the state of their hearts. I'm more equipped than ever to face the world ahead of me because of the lessons left behind, because of the songs that ring true through this season, because God is faithful and good, because he loves.

How do we say goodbye? Well, with God's grace in abundance, we simply say "See you soon." and believe that in what will seem like a blink of the eye in the scheme of eternity, we will. We bring hearts full or sorrow and gladness all at the same time and share them through hand squeezes and handkerchiefs. We'll celebrate the lives that were lived with everything we have and we grieve as a unit. We know that regardless of how it feels, we are never, ever alone. And then we just do our best to wake up each day and ask God to bring us through.

Life is lived, life is loved, life is lost.

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