The past can consume. It can wait behind our closed doors when we go to bed and advance towards us as we're supposed to be lulled into the land of nod. It can appear beside us in the empty silent seat on the bus. A moment alone, a moment of doubt, pains from the past appear and scare us out of doing all sorts of things. We often forget that the past is the past and just that. It is not real anymore, it is a thing that happened and was hard, but it's gone and we have moved forward. To bigger and brighter things, to greater and greater things. The past too often creates hurdles for life's most spectacular feats to be conquered. It can cause us to shy away from love, second guess just how gifted we are, make us afraid of repeating regrets. I know it's hard to comprehend, especially with that looming cloud of remorse above your head, but you don't have to live with it anymore. You can move forward and you will.
You need to be reminded every now and then that if anything, the past is a mark of your strength, your growth, your incredible character. You have managed to live through the hardship and come out the otherside. I am constantly amazed not by the challenges life has thrown at friends, but at their ability to become so much more beautiful because of them. To grow in wisdom and strength. To learn how to help others through the heartache. You are a new creation. Let me tell you, you are loved and when the time comes you will love and be loved so deeply that you'll wonder why you ever worried, you are gifted beyond your full comprehension, and you are stronger than ever before- you will not rehash yesterdays mistakes.
So next time the past creeps up behind your door and begs you not to sleep, tell it no, you are done with it. Remember the above. When you get on the bus and a moment of silence causes you to consider the things that hang in the back of your head, kick them out for good and replace them with reassurance. You are stronger, more capable, more beautiful than ever. I am so proud. The past does not determine your future.