I took a rather spectacular walk through my semi-rural Eden at dusk today.
The leaves have turned and flitted away, though all the more beautiful for the way they paint the ground. The road was the same as it's always been, it is consistent- slightly rough, but still the same road I've known my whole existence.
The only sounds were the occasional cars and the birds nodding off. The wind dancing with the forestry and the river lapping its sides. I sat down on a park bench and pondered. Isn't life the most crazy beautiful heartbreaking thing?
Oh to feel heavy and light, happy and sad, bitter and sweet at the same time. How complex we humans have turned out to be. In a world of chaos we so often neglect actually dealing with these feelings. We just keep chugging along in hope that they might disappear somewhere between the 11am lecture and 1pm meeting. Well I have news for you, they won't.
Give yourself some time. Take a break and process. Breathe in fresh air from a place of home. Walk it out, get some relaxation time in your system. The things that are hard to deal with will not just go away, they will only begin to close in even more. It's going to take time, but you need to give yourself that if you want to give yourself a chance. Life is so breathtaking if you learn how to lean through the bends. We're in for a pretty remarkable ride. Give yourself some time.